Can I divorce my unbelieving spouse?

Divorce is a crucial issue that the church today is struggling with. The biblical view of the issue is often referred to Jesus’ teaching in the gospel where He makes a clear distinction that divorce is only sanctioned if there is ‘sexual immorality’ in marriage. Jesus’ teaching on this matter is clear, however, the issue that I am struggling with is the problem of divorce that threatens marriages due to one of the spouse converting to Christian faith. When Jesus dealt with the matter of divorce, He referred primarily to Jewish couples who were married under the Old Testament law. So, the passage of 1 Cor 7: 10-15 is the best reference for me to draw out the biblical principles of divorce in such circumstances. There are times when new believers in Christ would want to press for a divorce from their “unbelieving” spouse simply because they are seen as a hindrance for their faith in Christ Jesus. In these circumstances, many choose to dissolve the marriage on the ground of incompatibility – some even choose to remarry. There are also cases where the Christian spouses are abused psychically and mentally by their non-Christian spouse for embracing Christ. As a pastor to the new converts, I really struggle to advise them on their marital problem that is closely related to their faith. By principle I understand that marriage should only be dissolved by death, however, in difficult situations where the faith of a new convert being affected by the continuance of their marriage to unbelieving spouse, I struggle to render my pastoral advice.

Paul in 1 Cor 7: 10- 15 dealt with the issue of divorce in the case of mixed marriages where one of the spouses becomes a Christian and the other one remains in other faith. The new converts ask Paul with genuine concern, if they have left behind the old life and become a new creation in Christ; does not their relationship with their unbelieving, unrepentant spouse and their entire home atmosphere threaten to pollute and to corrode their purity as one who belongs to Christ? By principle, Paul echoes to the command of Christ that husband and wife must not separate, because the Lord himself forbids it. The Corinthians lived under Roman law where the men and women could divorce their spouse by separating from them, by sending them away or moving out of the home. Thus, it was legally and socially all right for a person who was once an “unbeliever” but now becomes a Christian to divorce his or her unbelieving spouse. Paul makes a very clear distinction that the marriage between a new Christian and his or her spouse who is still an unbeliever remains valid although one of them becomes a Christian. This means that the believing spouse (Christian) should not do anything to cause the unbelieving spouse (non-Christian) to leave him or her. Divergence of faith alone is not sufficient reason for a believer to separate himself from an unbelieving spouse. In fact, in reading verse 14, Paul argues that when the marriage remains intact, the faith of the believing spouse would “sanctify” the unbelieving partner and gives a hope and prospect of winning the unbelieving partner to Jesus Christ.However, in verse 15, Paul talks about the possibilities of the unbelieving spouse divorcing the Christian spouse. When this happens, the believing spouse can do nothing to prevent the unbelieving spouse to divorce them, because the continuance of the marriage depends entirely on the consent of the nonbeliever, since the Christian has no ground for initiating divorce. In this situation the grieve party who is a Christian is not guilty of the separation and are considered as suffering for the righteousness sake. Thus, in understanding the issue in its context, it is best understood that Paul does not permit divorce on the ground of incompatibility; the believer is to do everything in his or her power to make the marriage work. Nevertheless, if the other spouse ends the marriage, then, the believer is not to be blamed for the divorce. In understanding Paul’s advise to the Corinthians, I am convinced that the same principle is very much applicable to new converts in our contemporary context. I believe that marriage between a believer and their “unbelieving” spouse can and should only be dissolved if the “unbelieving” spouse chose to divorce the Christian spouse. However, it is the responsibility of the believer at any cost to make the marriage work despite all differences and difficulties. Thus, the new convert of faith cannot dissolve the existing marriage with their unbelieving spouse because of divergence. The marriage covenant remains intact and valid though one of them has received a new faith. Though at times situations may seem to be out of proportion when the “unbelieving” spouse hinders the Christian spouse from attending church gatherings and literally practicing Christianity, the Christian partner should endure hardship by continuously living with their unbelieving spouse with the hope of saving their souls from eternal destruction. Paul reminds the Corinthians in verse 14, that as long the marriage covenant is not broken through divorce, the unbelieving spouse and their children will me made holy because of the new convert. However, when the unbelieving spouse decides to dissolve the marriage, I believe that the Christian spouse should rightfully respect the choice of the unbelieving spouse to be separated through divorce. In this circumstances, the new convert is not guilty of dissolving the marriage providing that they (the new convert) has done everything possible to maintain the marriage.

** I wrote this paper in my seminary and got an A- for it. So, i thought it will be useful for the those ministers who will be or facing similar problem in their congregation :-).....